Look what you made me do

Hello,

It`s me after a pretty long time. I have some topic to discuss with you.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago. Remember him? Yeah, it was that one I wasn`t happy with but it took me half a year to solve it out. I`m slower in those things, heh.

Anyway, now I am single after a year of pretty stupid relationship (but about that some other time. He was not a bad person, it was just a bad match).

I don`t know about you, but I feel like I have a stamp on my forehead – hey, dude, I am single!

Not that I would mind a man`s attention, but it depends on what kind of attention.

Imagine this:

You are in a club. You just wanna dance, have some drink, have some fun. You kinda like that guys look at you with some kind of interest, there are a couple of handsome ones among them perhaps.

But you do not seek a new man, or perhaps you just don`t seek a one night stand.

However, you are dancing, enjoying yourself, perhaps with a bunch of friends or so. There comes a guy, he is dancing with you, hand here and there. He is touching you more than you would allow some stranger on the street to touch you.

But it is a night in a club, right? It is allowed to touch your butt when you are dancing, right? They bought you a drink, so what, right?

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There comes a friend or colleague of yours. He is dancing with you. Hand here and there. Maybe your butt too. But that`s alright because it`s a party, right? You know him, he is harmless, right? You don`t want to destroy the evening, right? He always does that when he is drunk, but otherwise, he is okay. So you let him, right?

You kinda know, somewhere deep down, that he is crossing your comfort zone, but perhaps you don`t think about it much, because you are drunk, or you don`t wanna him think weird things about you. So you let him. You make up some apology for him. For yourself.

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There comes a colleague of yours, he is married, has a small, almost year old baby at home. But he is kinda handsome and all girls are throwing eyes after him. So it feels good that he is kinda flirting with you, right? He is dancing with you, pressing against you, staring at you like he will eat you alive once he gets a chance.

Imagine it is you who sits home with an almost year old baby and have this man at home. Losing all the illusions about relationships and marriage? Yeah, me too.

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But you are in the club, you have fun and you had some drinks, so what, right?

You kinda behave as you are supposed to. You do what he expects. What other girls would expect you to do. Flirt with him. Let him touch your butt or more.

But deep down you are asking yourself. Is it okay, that they care just about your flesh? Aren`t you sad that they don`t care who you are?

Is it okay to let them behave like that?

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Maybe I sound like some kind of heartbroken feminist. But feminism is about equality, right? It means that I can do what men do. And men can do what women do. They are allowed to dance in ballet, they are allowed to cry…

I am not against men. I need a man in my life. Oh, I really do. But I need a man who respects me as a person.

We all cry about this all the time. They are pigs, they behave like idiots. We have problems with harassments at work. Maybe at schools as well. But why?

Cause we let them. A lot of cases go through without any prosecution. Without a word or complaint.

They joke, throwing some strong offensive sentences, and we do nothing.

We don`t want this stranger to touch our butt, but we do nothing.

We despise the colleague who is married and is harassing, but we do nothing.

We want men to respect us, but we do nothing about that.

I don`t wanna be a pain in the ass as well, but to hell with that. I am not just a flesh. I am a human. A person who should be respected.

We shouldn`t feel bad that we say no. We shouldn`t feel bad about saying: hey buddy, don`t touch me like that. 

I`ve never felt so down like that night when I behaved like he expected me to. It was dull. I am a human being with emotions like any other here. They will respect me. Men or women. I don’t care.

Btw, I am not mad or anything. I don`t despise men. I like them actually. But just those who respect me as a person. I just think that we should change the way we let ourselves to not be respected. And it seems that the first step why is this happening is ours. Let`s change it, girls.

And let me know, what do you think about this.

Street art by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh
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